Are You Lonely and Loving It?
I have to admit my
life has changed quite a bit in the past year or so, mostly with
regards to socialising and friendships. I’ve always had this need for
a ‘best friend’, but as I’ve recently said (and realised!) he’s been here all along in
the form of Warren; the man who makes me laugh, makes me cry (happy
tears!) and knows me, oh-so well. Still, I fonud it difficult not to have that soulmate in the form of a friend, it has made me feel so lonely.
life has changed quite a bit in the past year or so, mostly with
regards to socialising and friendships. I’ve always had this need for
a ‘best friend’, but as I’ve recently said (and realised!) he’s been here all along in
the form of Warren; the man who makes me laugh, makes me cry (happy
tears!) and knows me, oh-so well. Still, I fonud it difficult not to have that soulmate in the form of a friend, it has made me feel so lonely.
But then came…
The shift.
Lately I’ve
noticed a massive shift in friendships and spending time with other people. I don’t really go to the pub any more, or invited
over to other people’s houses or anything really.
My biggest social time is going out with my children or Warren and
attending home ed events or groups. I can honestly say the kids have much more of a social life than I do!
noticed a massive shift in friendships and spending time with other people. I don’t really go to the pub any more, or invited
over to other people’s houses or anything really.
My biggest social time is going out with my children or Warren and
attending home ed events or groups. I can honestly say the kids have much more of a social life than I do!
This led to…
Loneliness.
In the beginning I felt really sad. I probably blogged about it, or tweeted, or something… because I wanted to feel loved. Silly, right?! No, not really. I think we live in a world where we’re forced to feel we must fit in, or be busy, or have lots of friends. I have Facebook friends who have the best of times with their besties, and I’m so happy for them (and a tad jealous, of course…), but the difference is their friendships are deep and meaningful and I just haven’t fonud that on a regular basis.
It’s so easy to get
down when friendships dwindle, but I always find they dwindle for a
reason. I’m a huge believer in relationships taking two people to
work, otherwise one person eventually burns out.So overtime I began to heal and…
down when friendships dwindle, but I always find they dwindle for a
reason. I’m a huge believer in relationships taking two people to
work, otherwise one person eventually burns out.So overtime I began to heal and…
Love Myself.
I’ve had time to
think about stuff, life and people, and I have to admit I think I’m
better off without half-hearted relationships. I don’t mean this in a harsh way, these friendships work for some people, just no me. As my mother tells me,
I’m a very ‘intense’ person, so light and airy relationships just
aren’t my bag. I crave investment, passion and intensity, and that’s
okay. I won’t always get it and that’s okay too. Then I realised this meant I’d have…
think about stuff, life and people, and I have to admit I think I’m
better off without half-hearted relationships. I don’t mean this in a harsh way, these friendships work for some people, just no me. As my mother tells me,
I’m a very ‘intense’ person, so light and airy relationships just
aren’t my bag. I crave investment, passion and intensity, and that’s
okay. I won’t always get it and that’s okay too. Then I realised this meant I’d have…
More time.
The thing is, if
you’ve got less ‘friends’ you’ve got more time. More time to connect
with family and close friends, more time for you to pursue your
dreams and hobbies. More time to focus on the relationships you want and crave, the deep ones for me for example. It means less rushing around for others and more internal
focus, which can surely only heal and strengthen you as a person,
right?
you’ve got less ‘friends’ you’ve got more time. More time to connect
with family and close friends, more time for you to pursue your
dreams and hobbies. More time to focus on the relationships you want and crave, the deep ones for me for example. It means less rushing around for others and more internal
focus, which can surely only heal and strengthen you as a person,
right?
So now, when the kids are in bed and I’m sat alone on the
sofa, I no longer think, ‘I’m lonely…’ I think, ‘I’m lucky.’ I’m
lucky because I can relax and rest after a mad day, I’m lucky because
I can veg and unwind, read a book or watch a movie. I’m lucky for the friendships I do have and no longer pine for the big romance. I’m lucky to meet more people because I have time. I’m now relieved
I don’t have to do all the social shit all the time I can see
everyone doing because I think perhaps, and I quote a very good
friend when I say this, ‘I’m over it.’
sofa, I no longer think, ‘I’m lonely…’ I think, ‘I’m lucky.’ I’m
lucky because I can relax and rest after a mad day, I’m lucky because
I can veg and unwind, read a book or watch a movie. I’m lucky for the friendships I do have and no longer pine for the big romance. I’m lucky to meet more people because I have time. I’m now relieved
I don’t have to do all the social shit all the time I can see
everyone doing because I think perhaps, and I quote a very good
friend when I say this, ‘I’m over it.’
I can’t do it any
more, not unless it means something.I’m lonely and I’m loving it, because loneliness isn’t always a negative word. The loneliness I refer to isn’t about feeling lonely around my family or my close friends, it refers to my ‘down-time’ where I re-energise from a stressful day.
more, not unless it means something.I’m lonely and I’m loving it, because loneliness isn’t always a negative word. The loneliness I refer to isn’t about feeling lonely around my family or my close friends, it refers to my ‘down-time’ where I re-energise from a stressful day.
So, if like me
you’ve noticed a dip in your social life, embrace it. Because I’m
damn sure it’s better than feeling lonely in a room full of strangers.
you’ve noticed a dip in your social life, embrace it. Because I’m
damn sure it’s better than feeling lonely in a room full of strangers.
