I think it’s really difficult to cope when you really and truly missing someone. Whether it’s because they live in another area or they’ve died, there are always those unexpected moments of deep pain and sorrow. I notice these moments often hit me in the gut. A song, an item of food or clothing… the little things that remind me of someone and I end up in tears.
How to Cope When You’re Missing Someone
Father’s Day has, as usual, been bittersweet. I thought it would be a good idea to write about the ways in which I’ve learnt to cope during these moments of sadness. I think it’s important to have a coping strategy, especially when it comes to our hearts. We need to take care and protect ourselves…
Take care of you
Put yourself first. Take a breather. It’s perfectly okay to miss somebody. Cancelling plans or re-arranging events is perfectly okay, don’t beat yourself up about it. You need to put your emotions first, so run a bath and breathe.
Try to let things go
A while ago I wrote about how I felt about my father’s death, the medical negligence involved and how I wish I’d acted upon it. Time has passed and I feel it is one of those things need to let go of. If I could turn back time I’d have acted differently, but I have to start looking ahead, not behind.
Talk to someone
There is always someone who wants to listen to you, no matter what you need to say. Talk about your loved one, cry, vent and let it all out. That’s what friends, whether virtual or life-long, are for.
Do something in their memory
Doing positive things that remind you of the person you’re missing can often aid healing. When you’re really missing someone it might be worth going to their favourite place or watching their favourite movie. You’ll feel closer to them, even though they’re no longer around.
Write them a letter
Writing is a powerful tool. I think writing a letter to your loved one can help immensely. Tell them how you’re feeling, tell them your hopes, dreams and desires. Tell them you’re missing them. It will help your heart heal.
Let them live on
Talk about those you’ve lost. Tell their stories… tell your friends, your children, a stranger on the street. Let them live on in you, through your words and kindness.
When you miss someone…
We’ve all experienced love and loss, we just need to be kinder to ourselves and to each other. I hope these ideas help you through the tough times. I know it isn’t easy to remember those that have left us. These things will never bring them back, but they will keep their memory alive.
As I always say, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, just send me a message. I’m here with open ears and an open heart.