The Importance of… Being YOU!

 

I’ve spent so many years trying to figure out who I am and where I belong, and I think (to a certain extent) I’m still trying to figure a lot of this out. From how to dress to who I should spend time with, life in general is a minefield.

The Importance of… Being YOU!

Before I had kids I think I’d started to discover the ‘real’ me, and after meeting Warren I embraced myself (inside and out) a lot more! and then suddenly I was pregnant and life began to change. When George was born I couldn’t sleep much, I ate when I could and life was a haze. A beautiful haze, but still a haze…

Then Molly came along and I think having two children under two was quite the challenge! My make-up and hair took a backseat and life was all about playgroups and snacks. You know what I mean, right?!

And I’m not writing this because I’m resentful, quite the opposite… They gave (and are still giving me) the best years of my life. They both make me connect with the world on a whole new level, and they bring me such love and true joy on a daily basis.

I’m writing this because, within this mad house of love and wistful dreamy days, I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost what I stand for. It’s not all bad, because now I see how it doesn’t matter to those two what I look like or what I do, they’ll love me no matter…

But it matters to me. I want to wear bold make-up and clothes that I haven’t just thrown on out of convenience. I watch Molly get dressed in such a precise way and I want that for me! I want to listen to Bowie more and continue hula-hooping, I want to read books in pure silence and embrace myself as the real person that I am.

Because, and it feels weird admitting it, I’m other things as well as a mother. Being a mother will probably be my greatest achievement, but this doesn’t mean I should stop reading or writing, or that I should pack my eyeliner away for good.

It means I need to combine the two.

This realisation came to me the other day, and soon after I had orange eyeshadow on and my hair was as neat as it gets (for me!) and I felt whole again. I felt I could take on the world. Blame my star sign that day, it said, ‘be brave’ and I was.

As George stared at my orange eyes in wonder, I had an epiphany…

I can be a mother. I can be me. I can be a mother and I can be me!

I can wear skull necklaces and have ribbons in my hair and still be a good mom. I can still go out for a beer with my mates (wherever you guys are… haha!) and still be a good mom. I can listen to Bowie, write poetry on scraps of unused paper and still be a bloody good mom!

Afterall, on the day our first child was born I didn’t sign a contract declaring I’d become faceless. I didn’t swear we’d be known only as ‘a mum’ and I didn’t agree I’d keep my hair in a greasy bun for all eternity. What I did agree to was to freakin’ rock this world with our awesome mothering skills, I agreed to supporting other mothers and not knock then whilst they’re down and deep down I agreed to be myself; my awesome unique self…

I just need to find her again, that’s all.

 

Things that make me, me!

  • Bright make-up, especially my eyes!
  • Reading books
  • Writing poetry
  • Singing to myself
  • Unusual dress sense
  • Loving my family
  • Energy and positivity
  • Hugging my little ones
  • Non-stop chatterbox
  • Crazy eyebrows

What makes you, you?

 

Share:

4 Comments

  1. Ysbryd a Chalon
    15th July 2018 / 1:07 pm

    – Communing with the moon and stars, forests and oceans

    – Loving my family unconditionally

    – Learning and growing humbly and openly with my family

    – Dancing untamed

    – Spinning in circles, barefoot on the grass

    – Singing from the heart

    – Dark eye make up

    – More tattoos

    – More chiffon, more scarves, more layers, more jingle jangle jewellery

    – Activism

    – Meaningful social connections

    – Candles, joss sticks and music

    – Poetry

    – Burlesque

    – Inward reflection and connection to the essence of womanhood / divine mother

    – Slow cooking, slow baking, slow crafts

    – Wild and fast adventures

    – Tantric love

    • Kelly Allen
      Author
      17th July 2018 / 8:09 pm

      What an amazing list. I think I need to extend mine now! THanks for all your inspiration! x

  2. 16th July 2018 / 1:32 am

    Awesome post, I am not a mother but I think we all still struggle to really know who we are in this world and what defines us!

    For me it is:
    -being a vegetarian
    -loving my family wholly and completely
    -being a good wife
    -being a good cat-momma
    -being a good friend
    -finding comfort in my own skin
    -fun clothes
    -blonde hair
    -being honest

    xx

    • Kelly Allen
      Author
      17th July 2018 / 8:08 pm

      I agree actually. Motherhood isn’t the only thing that can change us and it’s so important to remember who we are 🙂 Love your list x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *