Tommy’s are currently raising awareness about reduced fetal movements, so I thought I’d write a little post to support their campaign and to support those of you that worry about worrying (like me!).
Here is there #MovementsMatter video to give you some more information and dispel all those myths…
For me, I relate to this feeling of worry when I look back at all the different midwives I’ve ever met. On the whole they’ve been amazing, born for their job and most importantly, kind. But, when I look back at the bad experiences, well I feel there may be a link here somewhere…
Over the years I’ve met many a midwife and I’m not at all shocked to see that 52% of women would be worried about ‘wasting midwife’s time’ if they noticed reduced fetal movement. I’ve met some amazing midwives, but I’ve also met some horrible ones.
I’ve waited in queues at the antenatal clinic, I’ve seen the stress on the midwife’s face when faced with the vast amount of pregnant women in the waiting area, I’ve been brushed off by midwives for my concerns, I’ve been spoken down to by a midwife, I’ve been told to ‘stop worrying’ by a midwife, I’ve had midwives dimiss my concerns and I’ve witnessed midwives laugh people off who think they’re in labour to then have to deliver the baby a few minutes later…
Now, that’s the bad stuff, the stuff that should never happen. And I believe it’s this kind of thing that causes pregnant women to feel like a burden, to feel as if they are a bit paranoid or worrying too much. We’ve all had that moment when our midwife gives you their number and it’s all a bit too weird to just call it, we’re all a bit too British about it, and this is what needs to stop.
I’m basically one of those people that will see the doctor, and back in the day, midwife for any niggles I may have, no matter how small. BUT when I gave birth to Molly and our homebirth was all planned, I still chose to go to hospital with a straightforward birth because I couldn’t stand my midwife. She constantly belittled me and brushed my concerns off and in the end I decided I did not want her to help bring my baby into this world. THIS is the real impact of a bad midwife.
I’m not in anyway saying midwives are to blame, but I am saying women aren’t to blame either for their worries. I’m saying we live in a world of brushing things off, an overrun NHS and busy lifestyles. It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed in a world where people aren’t allowed to voice their concerns for fear of looking melodramatic.
I’ve vented about why I think there could be a problem, why we worry about worrying… now I want to talk about above and beyond care.
My first midwife was AMAZING. I still remember her face, her passion, her support. There are some truly awesome midwives out there, the ones who make you feel good and don’t tell you to stop worrying. They’re the ones you rely on 100%.
If society could all just be a bit more like these legends, the ones who become our friends, our supporters and our advocates, maybe we wouldn’t be so afraid to ask for advice? I want to say to these midwives, you ROCK! Because of you 48% of women (I presume?!) would be happy to reach out without feeling like they were hassling and fussing and over-reacting.
I remember suffering severe pain when I was about 8 months pregnant I went to the hospital weekly, ended up having all kinds of tests, even scans and everything came back clear. Nobody knew what was going on until I realised I hadn’t pooped for 2 weeks! Yes, I was fine and baby was fine, and it’s quite a funny story, but the point is, never be afraid to seek help, to nag, to fuss.
So, if you notice reduced fetal movements, don’t give a damn about calling and asking for support. Don’t worry about worrying, pick up the phone, dial and tell your midwife what’s going on.
The best result is always going to be walking out of the hospital after the phonecalls and after the tests and after the worry…
with a feeling of…
everything is going to be okay.