Butterflies

I’ve been married to Warren for seven and a half years. This weekend he is going on his brother’s stag-do and I won’t see him for 3 nights/4 days. It’s the longest we’ve ever been apart. This made me think about our relationship and how far we’ve come…
We had a turbulent time of it (read our story here) but after we signed the marriage certificate, partied with our friends and family and bought a kebab to take back to St David’s Hotel and Spa, I knew he was the man for me.
It has taken me a long time to be able to trust anyone on the level that I trust Warren. He has been in my life through some very shitty times, and I’ve been there for his. In fact, we still have shitty times, but we’re stronger and wiser so they affect us much less these days…
I think that even though marriage and a kebab signalled our true love, it was probably when I gave birth to George that I knew he had my back. I remember him arguing with the midwife about my choice and our birth plan, I remember his face when George came out lifeless, grey, cord wrapped over and over again around his neck, his feet like floppy thin flippers… First of all we thought he was dead, and when he finally managed to breathe-scream we thought he’d never be able to walk…
1909812_242587885243_6737320_n
I knew that if a man fought for me during labour and birth, with all the blood, poo and pain, well what a man to have by my side. He’s always been a passionate old fool, a romantic fella wooing me with my favourite flowers, writing me songs and just adoring me… isn’t that what it’s all about?
I’m going to admit something here, something I said to the whole family the other day. Warren is the most forgiving member of our little family. Yes, he is moody and he sneezes loudly and he spends far too long on the loo, but oh my, when it comes to forgiveness, letting it go and moving on, he’s your man.
I can’t say the same about myself. But I like to think I’m learning from him!
The whole point of this post is to whittle down the reason for something… the elusive feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see the ‘one’, you know it right? Well, even after nearly eight years of marriage, I still get that feeling. I still get stomach flips when I know he’s coming home, I still want to kiss him when he’s snoring his head off on the sofa, I still want to have his babies even though I know we won’t sleep for five years if we do…
But why oh why do I still feel this?
I think it’s a combination of things. On the one hand, we’ve been through a tremendous amount of change. Moving house nine times in eight years, two children, the loss of loved ones, other personal dramas, job changes, an epileptic dog-face, financial woes, disputes amongst friends/family… and so much more, you know, life is mad right?
With it all, we’ve stuck together. When I’m low he is high, when he is low I am high, when someone is hurt the other one is there, when we argue, we sort it out, we do date nights, we laugh a LOT, we still have sex (YES!!!!!), we kiss, we rub each other’s feet, we snuggle, we understand each other, we support each other, we dream big dreams, we want a simple life (well, that’s a lie… I want a simple life ha!), we respect each other, we’re honest, we fight, we make up, we love eating together (I loooooooooove watching Warren eat, especially chicken), we have very few boundaries (yes, our toilet door is always open), we’re living for love and loving it!
So this is dedicated to the man who brings me flowers ‘just because’, to the man who still surprises me, to the man who gives no shits about other people’s opinions, to the man who helped me make two amazing human beings, to the man who sat in the car-park of the hospital eating burgers with me just before I gave birth to Molly, to the man who gets those ‘moments’ no one else will ever, ever understand, to the man who took care of me (and still does) when my father died, to the man who gives me butterflies…
I can’t wait to see you Monday, I can’t wait for the tummy flips and the kisses and the joy the house will feel when you come home.
I adore you,
Truly, madly, deeply, crazily and forever xxxx

Share:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *